Friends

First off your friendship should not be based how much a person calls you or hangs out with you.  You shouldn’t have to watch the things you say or how you act in front of them. Friends can not speak for years and hang out like they didn’t miss a beat. A lot of times people cut people off because they don’t do the things they use to together or they don’t call when you feel they should. I feel like those are the times you should reach out. So many times they have been so stressed, depressed and lost they don’t even know this much time has passed. They may need you and not know what to say, or know that you may be to busy. (Which is not a real thing because we can always make time) You can invite them out to something you always had planned like a nail appointment. I wish guys would do this also because they seem to suffer in silence and other men are going through same things. We as women put so much pressure on them, they need friends as much as we do. If we can stop pretending we’re fine when we’re not and call each other when we need a break we could have friends. Someone you know won’t judge you or spread your business is a real friend. I’ve missed some important events in my friends lives but they love me no less. I’m here when you need me.

Parenting From Me

Kenyia love the kids, especially my lil bitties. I just love watching them grow and understand. I have a different approach to parenting because of my child care experience and own personal experiences. Not saying that it’s right because I know I am a little extra at times. I just love my children to life and I want what’s best for them at all times. I have a 2-year-old and a 11-year-old, two completely different spirits.

Sleep: I never had a problem getting Micah to sleep in a bed alone and Rabbit didn’t make it a big deal until now, almost his 3rd birthday. He knows what it is to be scared now and that hurts my feelings. A little piece of innocence gone, even though I know it’s going to happen it still bothers me when it does.

Respect: My kids get apologizes when I say things I shouldn’t. When they get angry I let them be angry. (with limits of course, no throwing thing, punching things or people or throwing fits) We talk about ways to calm down and handle things better but they do what they see, so am I really mad at. I admit when I am wrong because I am their example and I have open communication with them so life will be easier for us in the future.

Discipline:When they get in trouble they both get things taken away, but they do not get in trouble often. Age is a big factor when it comes to discipline but a whooping is a last resort thing and does not have that great of effect in my experience. (let the old people tell it, we are better because of it lol. NOT) I’ve seen kids that got whoopings all the time and still got in trouble everyday. I’ve also seen kids that got them and were terrified of their parents, which lead to sneaky children. Not saying that sometimes whoopings didn’t just stop the bad behavior, but that has more to do with who the kid is and how much they were going to test you either way.

Freedom: I also allow my kids to dress themselves whenever they feel like it, even at 2. Micah wore his shorts backwards all the time, it was cute. Freedom of expression is important to me because I was always looking for ways to show how I felt inside. (Yes with clothes/hair etc.) Micah always loved dressing nice even at a young age so I bought him nice clothes because I knew he wouldn’t get them dirty. ( so much has changed) He was modeling before he could walk. When he started walking he was doing the turns and everything with no problem. Rabbit does not care about clothes at all, but I think he prefers pj’s.

Protection:Rabbit is not as friendly as Micah and I don’t make him speak or be around people he doesn’t want to be around. He is 2 and I’m not worried about him not being respectful, I know he will be. I am obligated to protect them and their spirits. I trust their instincts and what them to be comfortable where ever they are.(and who always feel like talking to people? I know I don’t and there is no way that should be forced on a 2 year old to fake excitement over anyone.) Micah is very respectful and if he ever tells me he don’t like being around a certain person, the person will not be around.

Danger: I don’t smother them or save them from every foreseen trouble. I want them to figure things out and learn from their mistakes. First off I have little boys and their imaginations are awesome. Figuring things out are different from their points of view. I’m a watcher and I try to stand back unless it’s necessary. I’m also paranoid so if i hear you crying in the middle of the night or from the back yard I’m coming out like Super Woman. lol

King

You can tell by their walks

The cocky in their voice

The strength in their hands

The bass in their voice

The passion in their love

The power in their words

They are Kings!

Do you like what you see sir?

Brodrick is the husband of husbands, first off. (it’s annoying cause I’m a hot mess wife) I have to be very intentional in making sure he keeps his eyes on the prize. I like fantasy so I’m big on role play and switching things up. (we are into fifty shades but we’ll get to that later) I don’t leave the house if he’s not feed, nothing ticks me off more than some chick offering my man food. Girl I will cut you, in real life. That was how I drew him in, pretending I could cook. (then God blessed my hands and I could actually cook) I don’t make him lunch because he don’t always get a chance to eat and he got his boys he go get lunch with. One time some chick noticed he didn’t bring lunch and said she would bring him lunch, shut that down real quick! Betta sit down somewhere. Another thing is I don’t believe in big draws @ anytime! I don’t get that at all, when it’s off limits it should still look good. There are plenty games we play in the meantime. Random sexy pics are a must so please never go through our phones. Oh and he loves basketball, like it’s he one thing he won’t ever get tired of. I can only shoot but I will out there any day and pretend I’m good, I talk plenty of noise too. (he like that) When he watchin the game (which is everyday lol) I’m right there. Not always paying attention but I’m there. Basketball is my favorite sport too. (but he is extreme) The look in his eyes when I’m all into a game and we both yelling at the tv and being loud, is everything! I don’t get tired of him but that don’t mean he don’t get tired of me, I mean the man can’t even have a chair to himself. I make sure he gets plenty of time to miss me. When my girls/family make plans to go somewhere I almost always go. I plan things in the afternoon when I know he’ll miss me on purpose. (I cook before I go lol unless it’s eat out night) I mean I don’t be out that  much cause he works a lot and I don’t get tired of him lol. Unfortunately we only get one hour of us time every night but we try to make it count. He’s a homebody but I get him to come out so I can dance on him like some freak in the club lol. I get him out of his comfort zone so he don’t get complacent. We have forever to go so I will always look for ways to keep his interest. If I need to use accents and wear maid coustumes so be it. I’m always down to chase him!

Forget him!

I remember like yesterday swapping suckers with you laughing to the bus stop and all the way home with you I remember trying to guard you only to end up turning it into a game of tackle basketball I remember hooking you up with girls and them spreading rumors about me because they thought I was messing up their chances with you I remember being there in the middle of the night to come talk to you, you were my first friend in the neighborhood and so many people became friends but none were as cool as you I’m not sure why it seems like yesterday when you clearly you’ve forgotten since you didn’t except my friend request and ignore me when I see you I guess a long time ago you laid our friendship to rest I had a lot of dudes break my heart but yours hurt the worst! 

Let your past make you…

So many people let their past be an excuse for failure. Your past is to teach you and help you be a better person. (I’m speaking to those with a troubled past and have dealt with a lot of pain growing up.) I am not saying that I don’t get where you are coming from, and I understand that you might be broken. Just don’t let being broken be your focus! Your past will put you in the right place to meet the right person at the right time. I can’t imagine what my life would be if the things I went through didn’t happen. Back then I was angry, lost and hurt. That made me who I am today, strong, motivated and restored. I never sought revenge or wanted anyone to pay for things that happened to me. I just understand that people are different and deal with things differently. It really is a mind thing because if you think positive you get positive. I can see things from others point of view and understand it. Be the kind of person who chooses the right way. (and if you don’t know which way is right seek help)Life is not made to be done alone. Having somebody is important, it can be a friend a spouse a sister etc. Don’t suffer in silence, this is where we fail. When we can’t find it in ourselves to trust again and tell someone our true feelings we set ourselves up for failure. There is always somebody willing to listen but you have to be open to it. Don’t let past destroy your future let it mold your future. #inception

 

 

Staying the Course

My favorite subject is marriage because it’s my greatest joy and accomplishment. I always wanted to be married and never expected it to be so much work. I just thought if I did what I thought was best it would work, it’s not that simple. My husband is the perfect man for me and it’s still not easy. Even tho I made that long list of things I wanted in a husband and checked off every one he still don’t do everything I want. I know it don’t work like that but I wish it did, I’m sure he does too. My first suggestion is to learn your partners love language and make sure their love tank stays full. It’s so easy to get into a routine and never realize you two are not as close as you should be or started out. Happy Marriages don’t just happen, it’s very intentional. My love language is physical touch but it should be attention because it seems like that’s what i’m always wanting. First off you and your spouse will interpret things differently so it’s important to talk about everything together. Every argument we’ve had was due to a misunderstanding. When I start feeling disconnected I can’t wait to see how it’s going to play it or if it’ll fix itself. I anyways go to him to talk about it first chance I get, not in a nagging way either. I am not fussing about it or throwing hints(unless i’m just feeling playful) I am telling him exactly what I’m feeling and we are talking until we come up with a solution. Also, timing does matter! I know if I’m trying to talk while the game is on I won’t get much feed back and he’s trying to rush the conversation. Just like he knows if I’m watching Sex in The City or Insecure or Jane the Virgin we are not about to get anywhere. We usually have the best results after the kids are sleep and it’s our alone time, or in a car ride without the kids. I guess that’s another thing to take into consideration, your children. We never discuss serious conversations in their presence. (or in the presence of anyone else in that case) People may seem like your friend until you can relate to the hurt they feel and baby I promise you they will have you madder than you started out. That is why I talk to him so I don’t feel the need to talk to someone else. (not everybody gives good advice) When a couple lashes out at each other in front of you take the time to appreciate each other, not join in. You may have the same issue but now is not the time. This may be a reality check if anything else, seeing yourself (in someone else) can be scary. I strive everyday to be a good wife. If his love language is words of affirmation, baby let me write love letters in your ear.(lol) Love is everything, my whole life is based on love. Love without actions is the exact same as faith with out actions. ( just a nice thought) So married people get to work, it’s worth it!!!